‘Single as a Pringle and ain't 'gat nowhere to mingle’ is shaping up to be the theme of my Christmas this year! I could already feel the gag reflex building up as I scroll my timeline, seeing all the matching pajamas under the Christmas tree.
When that thought entered my heart, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt; I needed to see Jesus, my Cardio Specialist. Obviously, a valve somewhere had sprung a leak. While in a time of reflection, I remembered Christmas' gone by when I was not happy being a single chick. With all that went on in 2020, it was a “NO” for me NOT to be happy that other people are happy.
Let's dispel a myth right off the bat. Just because many singles are thriving and doing their thing, don't mean there aren't spells of "Where my fella at Lord?"
I mean, contrary to popular belief, we are human.
We have all the feels just like married folks did before they found their needle in a haystack. We single's to want laughter, cries, baecations and PDA’s without church folk giving us the side-eye!
We single mortals also desire a partner we could be out here building an empire with! I mean, what you thought?
The longer I pondered, the more I got irritated.
Just thinking about attending the family gatherings alone, again, was about to give me the heebie-jeebies. Any social outing where I'd face an opportunity to be grilled by all the insensitive people would feel like a job interview—and one I didn't land at that.
I was honestly not interested in being reminded that I'm getting older. Nor did I need an update that my womb has somehow shriveled-up and become utterly useless (at least that's how they'd make you feel).
Well, won't-cha-look at that! Christmas has been downsized! I suppose I should thank God for this silver-lining.
Anyways, I was about five seconds from texting tingum "Hey big head," when I got an alert. The moment I was about to pull up the number, my 'A sprinkle of Jesus' app notification flashed across the screen (SMT)!
Even before I read it, I knew it would be something that spoke directly to my heart and would nudge me in a different direction. There it was, looking back at me, "Reach for Jesus, like you reach for your phone!" Ugghhh!!!
I saw that and immediately knew I was bout' to have a come to Jesus moment sooner than I thought.
Okay, now don't beat me with your "Oh-Em-Gee, I thought she was a Christian stick!" Cause sometimes, Christians be the ones with ‘thee’ most questionable heart issues. These un-Christ-like thoughts was not a fire drill.
I needed to drop everything and find the nearest exit. I began to confess these things to God because, let's face it, then and only then will we be made free.
First of all, I had to admit to Him that I know I could come off bipolar. Hopping from the river to the bank about this ‘I want a husband’ thing. Some days I'm all for it, and other days not so much. The 'not so much' usually came after I'd spoken to some married person who was maybe less than enthusiastic about their mate.
Immediately I'd dial heaven and yell, "Cancel order! Cancel Order!" Honestly, it was unnerving to admit that I don't know what I want. I don't know if I want to give off myself to the level I understand marriage calls for. I can't say that I'm prepared never to have dude ever go home! Yikes!
So I ask, what in life do you have your eyes fixed on? If you’re continually scrolling on social media all day watching what someone has, your heart will become filled with jealousy. Sorry, there is no cute word to sugar coat that.
Frankly, most people want what they can't have and have what they don't want. But ironically, a whole lot of folk have exactly what they need.
Trust and believe there is some married person out there, longing for your level of freedom. On the other side of this fence, right here in Singleville, we can make ourselves miserable by trying to force ripe something that is not ready for the picking.
I know Christmas seems like a reminder of what you lack and how God has not come through. But I challenge you to shift your perspective.
What if God did exactly what He said He'd do?
What if your being single at Christmas meant He's preserved you?
In my come-to-Jesus moment, it was like all the Ghosts of Christmas Past had visited me. But guess what? It was a much-needed reminder of why I should be grateful to be exactly where I am. What I truly appreciate about God is that every day He grants us an opportunity to be better than we were yesterday.
Believe me, my heart is fixed and ready to have a holly jolly Christmas ‘single’ and all. Because when you're transparent with God about what you're struggling with, He makes the burden light. He trades you your worry for His assurance. You can count on one thing, that His strength is made perfect in your weakness. (see: 2 Corinthians 12:8-10)
Listen, 2020 was rough enough.
So don't be a Scrooge mumbling "Bah Humbug" under your breath. Walking around with a sour face wondering why everyone else is happy and you ain't.
Sir, ma'am, that's on you!
Rid yourself of that weight, so you can experience the joy of Christmas. But it can only happen when you give all the things that trouble you to God. Believe me, He cares about you, especially at Christmas time.